you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize