Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
did you just send me my own nude
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
