So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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