thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
