apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
