yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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