It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
