I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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