Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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