Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
