wat bout pragnant strippers??
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
