I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
