HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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