Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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