Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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