My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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