the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
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It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
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Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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