Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
