You're my little dorito
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I can't put those talents on a resume
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
