The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
