the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
