Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
