It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
