and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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