i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
