they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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