did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
