what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize