Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
