Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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