4 words: hood of his car
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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