I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
