I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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