You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
