the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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