I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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