in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
