just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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