What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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