I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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