I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
