Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Less talking, more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize