I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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