that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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