let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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