tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
