think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
and she was petting her beer can
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
