That's when you crack a 10am beer
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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