I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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