He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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