i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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