i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
