i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
