those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Of course I have a pirate flag
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
