Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
