I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
