Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
