Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
