the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Four minutes until I can fart!
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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