Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Operation Purity has been aborted
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
